USA
Of the approximately 600,000 children living in foster care in the United States, every single child has a story. Some were abandoned. Some never knew their parents. Some had parents who have died or been killed. And some, like Tashima Dukes, had a parent incapable of caring for her.
Dukes’ mother was in and out of her life and she did not know her father. Her foster care journey began at age nine when her mother attacked her prior to heading off to school
“We had an argument about what pair of pants I was going to wear and she took a billy club and almost broke my leg,” remembered Dukes, now 39. “I limped to school that day. Once I got [there] the social worker met me, called child protective services and before the end of the day my sister and I were taken away from our home by police. She and I were in foster care in California for about three years.”
At age 14, Dukes was reunited with her maternal grandmother in Florida. “My grandmother would constantly tell my mother, ‘Come and get your kids.’ So, my sister and I would travel to Philadelphia.”
Once back in the region, the sisters would stay with her mother and their new stepfather, who was based at the Philadelphia Navel Yard.
While Dukes’ older sister decided to stay in Florida to graduate high school, Dukes remained in Philadelphia and attended Furness High School.
“I had a huge support (system) with a lot of the kids I went to school with,” said Dukes.
One day, Dukes came home to find her parents had moved to another state. Despite appealing to become an emancipated minor, Dukes ended up back in foster care as a teen.
“It is probably one of the hardest things to do because a lot of foster parents really look for babies and I was a nearly 16-year-old teen who was really into my education. I ended up going from foster home to foster home. My mouth got me in a lot of trouble. By the time I turned 18, I had been in 13 different foster homes,” said Dukes.
“Drugs played a major role in my life,” said Dukes, who added that nearly every member of her extended family was a drug abuser. “What we see is generational transmission of stress and trauma. I remember I wanted to be the outlier, that X-factor and that this couldn’t be my life. My story has to change.”
It changed with her college education. Dukes attended Penn State Abington.
“I was extremely excited, but at the same time, I didn’t have as much support as I wished for,” she said. “I remember sitting in a lecture hall with 250 students and looking around. Everyone had their family there for orientation day and I was sitting by myself.”
Dukes decided to accelerate her college experience, graduating at 20 with a bachelor’s degree and obtaining her first master’s degree in education from Cheyney University 18 months later.
“Education was a big savior for me,” said Dukes. “I became a career student and have spent the past 20 years studying. I have three master’s now.”
Dukes is author of Truth Be Told: A Foster Child’s Recollection and an internationally recognized expert trainer for foster children, foster parents and foster care administrators regarding some of the major problems in the foster care system from the foster child’s perspective.
She has been a keynote speaker for Court Appointed Special Advocates and many other local and national foster care agencies. She has more than 13 years of counseling experience with children and families in both urban and suburban environments. Married for nearly for two years, Dukes spans the globe sharing her motivational message as she travels across the U.S as well as Tanzania, Nigeria and South Africa.
“I believe it was just the grace of God,” said Dukes. “My foundation is my faith. I believed in prayer and hanging out with people who were going places … I had the vision that one day, tomorrow is going to be better for me.”
By Bobbi Booker
29 June 2018
